May 2026 Newsletter - May Memories
May 2026
Memories
My Catholic upbringing will never let me forget that May is the month dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary. It is also the month of Mother’s Day and Memorial Day. I can’t help dwelling on the memories of my mother and all of the other important women that have shaped me as a person during my formative years. While you are reminiscing it is good to ponder what kind of woman you have become and the legacy that you want to leave. What will people say about you when they visit your grave on Memorial Day?
What is your legacy?
When you get older you understand that it’s wise to cherish your favorite memories of deceased loved ones and forgive faults and suspend judgements. I used to be critical of my mother when we had the women’s movement in the 60’s and 70’s. She was demur and ladylike and deferred to my father. Now I realize that she was often putting on a brave front while coping with my father’s business ventures. She did the books, ran the farm and raised us during my father’s frequent business trips. When I was about 6 my father was nearly killed in a car wreck. My mother stayed amazingly strong for us and reassured me that my father was with some nice doctors and nurses and would be home soon. I never knew my father almost died until years later.
What women have you underestimated?
My mother was quiet and reserved but everyone loved her because she was a good listener. When I’m training people to be more effective networkers and to listen more effectively, I tell them one of my favorite stories about my mother. She had gotten dementia and I was visiting her with a friend that she had never met. I warned my friend that she had dementia. My mother was still gracious. She asked my friend to come in, sit down and said “tell me all about yourself”. My friend talked about herself for an hour and my mother said practically nothing. When we got in the car to leave my friend said “there’s not a thing wrong with your mother’s mind. She’s the most brilliant, insightful person that I’ve ever met. She understood me perfectly.”
Could you talk less and sound smarter?
When I set up my May altar (a thing Catholics do) I like to think of other women in my life and my fondest memories of them and what I admired most about them. My godmother, Loretta Winfrey could always put a positive spin on a bad situation. My confirmation sponsor, Frances Holland taught me how to pray while I worked. My dear Aunt Nancy Richardson bore hardships without falling into despair and self-pity. Aunt Dorothy Rosenberg Henderson was such a significant role model for me. She survived widowhood twice, lived 20 years after a terminal cancer diagnosis and yet was always fun to be with and full of hope for the future. I was with her one time when she came out of a surgery. She sat up in her hospital bed and wanted to talk about a cruise she was going to go on with her fiancée.
What memories do you want to savor?
During May I like to think about how to imitate admirable characteristics of these women. I once thought of women of this era as being weak and submissive. I fancied myself as some kind of bold feminist. I actually was self-focused, critical and harsh. These women weren’t weak: they were strong, kind, supportive and thoughtful. My mature self knows that you can be nurturing and caring without being a door mat.
How will you honor the women who mentored you?
Since May is a month full of social occasions and family gatherings, I have vowed to be more mindful of my interactions with others. It’s a time to listen and think of ways to help others to have a positive experience and create meaningful memories. I have a younger, modern day woman to admire. Her name is Keira Mitchell. I’ve mentioned her before and must mention her again. I recently heard her do a presentation on the new business that she founded called SERVE which is an acronym for Serving, Equipping and Restoring the most Vulnerable with Empowerment. She is especially interested in helping widowed home owners decide whether to stay in their home or downsize. She makes sure that they get the help they need to start their next chapter. She is also known as the glue that holds her family together. Keira is quiet and reserved. However, behind the scenes she is the glue that holds my business network together. I wish more people including myself were as kind and thoughtful as Keira.
Who do you admire?
